My Wales, my world

Rachel Starritt brings us into her world of music and sensation. As told to Emma Balch.

The first time I heard a real piano was in a school assembly. I was immediately fascinated by the instrument. I loved the sound of it. I didn’t know what it was, but I wanted to put my hands on it. 

Sometimes in the school hall, when the teacher was accompanying the hymns, I would be sitting next to the back of the piano, so I could feel the vibrations in the soundboard. It was a thrilling sensation and I remember reacting to it by wringing my hands in sheer excitement. 

The piano entered my life at this primary school in Pencoed, near to my hometown of Bridgend. Before this, I had been playing on a keyboard at home.

I was born totally blind. I sort of taught myself the keyboard by ear, with simple songs and nursery rhymes that my mother sang to me, but the instrument had no touch sensitivity, so the volume didn’t change according to how hard or softly I pressed the keys. The sound of hammers on the school piano was like a sense of beckoning and embrace. I decided that all I wanted to do was play the piano.

Rachel Starritt at the piano in Hereford Cathedral.

We moved to this house in Bridgend when I was one and a half years old. My brother is a bit older than me, so my parents decided they needed a bigger house to raise their family, and we’ve lived here ever since. It turns out it’s really good for musicians because it’s a detached one and we’re not so close to neighbours! 

I began formal piano lessons when I was six years old at the Forte School of Music in Cardiff. There was a teacher there who studied at the Royal Welsh College of Music and Drama. After I did my Grade Five, which was at the age of nine, she said she didn't have anything more to teach me and that I must go to the Royal Welsh College of Music to be a Junior. So, I auditioned and got through, and I studied with Alison, who is still my mentor and teacher today. 

I have perfect pitch, which means I can identify any note simply by hearing it. This makes it easier to memorise music and form patterns. Music is based on patterns and rhythm. I have Asperger’s Syndrome and I thrive on being able to sing and hear music in my head. I learn pieces of music by a combination of touch and hearing the sound. I don’t need to rely on any markers. Alison also encourages me to say the finger numbers aloud while practising, so it embeds it into my memory. My main approach is my teacher plays and records sections, and I memorise them. Hands separately first, then putting them together. It is a physical process too. I put my hands on top of Alison’s as she plays a piece, and I try to emulate the movement and think about the sounds, not just the notes. In an online lesson she describes in words the movement and what it feels like and then I experiment with it myself. Sometimes we sing while playing, to focus on hand coordination and phrasing, so it stops me thinking about the piano as a percussion instrument. 

To begin with at home we had an upright Yamaha piano in the playroom, which took me through the grades and allowed me to explore the different sounds of the piano. Later, when I was playing more sophisticated music, my piano teacher stepped in. My Yamaha had been my companion for twenty years, but it wouldn’t be good enough for a more virtuosic repertoire and I needed a grand piano… and everything just went from there!

Alison lived in a Victorian house in Abertridwr in Caerphilly. I remember she invited me there one New Year’s Day to play on her Bechstein grand piano, which was already a century old when she bought it. The tonal range was absolutely stunning and exhilarating, I could feel it resonate in every area of my body as I played. The sound seemed to open out the faster or the slower I pressed the keys, and every register seemed to have its own voice. The instrument was giving me so much variety of tonal colours to play with. I especially loved the deep resonant bass and a twinkling, tinkling treble. 

Then Alison played a piece I hadn’t heard before, a Nocturne by Claude Debussy – one of his earlier pieces written in 1892. From that moment on I have cherished that vintage piano sound in my head. Characterful, full of colouristic sonority and incredibly pure – almost spiritual – I feel like I am literally touching the sound now because of how I am reacting to the memory of it!

We now have a grand piano in the living room, 6ft 4in in length! It was made by hand by August Förster, a small German company that makes around 120 grand pianos a year. I am absolutely in love with it. When I play, it is an extension of my human soul. I love the cabinet resonance, especially at the lower end of the instrument. As I practice on it for many hours a day, the tone of it does become brighter, so it is tuned regularly by a technician. I hear a massive difference when the piano is tuned. The technician pushes needles into the felt hammers every few months to even the tone out, so I can be in my own world when I practice and play. I love handmade pianos compared to mass produced ones because they give a quality that allows exploration and experimentation while I'm playing as opposed to having just a practice instrument that only allows me to play accurately. My Förster grand piano has a distinctive seductive sound that I carry with me even when I am performing in other venues on different pianos. 

Having a piano that develops my musicality while allowing me to explore different orchestral sonorities and colours makes a massive difference. It helps me with my motivation and routine as I always feel like touching my piano! Each morning, after having a coffee and breakfast, I sit down at my piano. I scent the room with air freshener so the smell helps me focus when I practise. The piano is an instrument that you have to dedicate to day after day if you want to have success. You have the talent first, and then you have to develop it. It took me ages to understand this and only at the age of 14, after I had passed my Grade 8, did I realise the importance of practising. 

As an instrument, the piano has something very unique. It can play chords, you can feel harmony approaching underneath. It is an orchestra at your fingertips, once you know how to control it, because of the 88 keys and the wide dynamic range in registration. Also, as your technique improves you can get more variety of sounds and more satisfaction out of the instrument.

It also preserves my emotions. I do have to be careful of the intentions of the composer, that my feelings aren’t taking over as I play. I became used to the college Steinway instruments during my undergrad degree and my Masters in Musical Performance. I was trained there to project into large spaces like concert halls. I realised I wasn’t always listening to what I was hearing, and I allowed my physicality to get in the way of the interpretation. When there is a climax in a performance, I was using my physical strength and stamina to play loudly. I’m not alone in this; even some orchestral conductors get lost in their emotions!

After practicing for a few hours, I go for a walk with my father. I find it energising to be outside and moving physically. Today it’s a sunny day and I can hear the seagulls are out. They make a very distinctive squawking noise; it sounds like they’re laughing! They’re also nosy and curious creatures who like snatching food. Seagulls come out in warm weather, they feel very attracted to it.

Rachel performing in Hay-on-Wye.

Today we’re going for lunch at my father’s favourite cafe in Bridgend. I usually choose an iced latte with oat or almond milk because I like the flavour. Sometimes I like to have a treat, like a Welsh cake. My father is from Northern Ireland, and I love the sense of humour of his family, and how they rise and fall with their voices to express emotions. I am proud of my Celtic heritage. 

I love going to museums like St. Fagan’s and Llancaiach Fawr. I can transport myself back in time between the fifteenth and nineteenth centuries to find out the roles of households at that time and the pleasures they immersed themselves in. Welsh culture is rich, communal and artistic, drawn out of folkloric traditions centuries ago, such as the first Eisteddfod in 1176. That’s why I love European cultures as well, because the development of music emerged from different historical eras. I always think of the musical salon as similar to an eisteddfod, with music and poetry, but it’s more private and non-competitive, so it’s always a concert. 

Domestic music-making in homes really interests me. It was all the rage in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries; it was a sort of home entertainment as we experience with television and smartphones today. I hope the traditions of making music at home won’t die out, even if we are in a fast paced technological age. 

Being in nature is very relaxing. I can hear the sound of the river now as we cross into Newbridge Fields. The weather in Wales can be unpredictable, so we make the most of being outside when it’s not raining. I find the sound of birds is soothing. It makes me happy to hear them when I wake up, and they can be quite loud at night! 

I’m sitting on the bench outside the club next to the playing fields. One bird is singing away high up in the tree right now. Tweet. Tweet. Tweet. I can hear the sound of a cricket match, with people clapping. Lots of training goes on here. My mother plays tennis here three times a week after she couldn’t run competitively anymore. There’s a real sense of community, they have barbecues, and she has made good friends.  

My brother’s house is nearby. He used to play rugby on these fields, until he broke his nose. He still watches it on TV with my father, they can’t stop talking about it! My family are all into sport. The song ‘Yma o Hyd’ has a strong message about the importance of the Welsh language and cultures, written by Dafydd Iwan forty years ago. It has become a football anthem when Wales play on the pitch. When I play it with Kenfig Hill and District Male Voice Choir I feel so proud and glad to be part of the whole experience! 

Playing with the choir has been a very different experience for me. I am part of a team there, so I have to shift my focus from myself to the choristers. Luckily the director taught me GCSE Music, down the road at Pencoed Comprehensive School, so I have a really good working relationship with her. She knows how I think and can be direct with me when she needs to. 

It was here in Bridgend, at my infant and junior school that I learned Welsh through a support worker who is first language Welsh. I began by reading Welsh Braille books like Gel y Ci and other Welsh children’s classics. We also watched television programs that taught the Welsh language through music and song. In my secondary years I had a teacher who would chant Welsh vocabulary and phrases rhythmically and use different vocal inflections, so music was combined with languages which was thrilling. That helped my enthusiasm as I realised languages didn’t need to be learnt in an academic way, but I could memorise language through rhythm, chanting and singing.

Rachel Starritt with her mother, Andrea, on the Millennium Bridge (known as the ‘Winking Eye Bridge’) in Gateshead, where Rachel plays with RNS Moves ensemble.

The final stop on our walk is the supermarket close to our house, to do some food shopping. One of the things I am buying today is olives, because they’re my absolute favourite since my Erasmus year in Spain! Green olives taste a bit herby, but I love the taste and textures of black olives. They have more of a salty kick, and you can really chomp into them, especially when they are bought fresh! 

My parents are creatures of habit, so for my childhood holidays they liked relaxing by the pool in places they know like Majorca in the Balearics and Tenerife in the Canary Islands. I had never been to the mainland of Spain. While I was doing my undergraduate degree at the Royal Welsh College of Music and Drama I heard there were opportunities to spend a year at a partnered institution abroad. I didn’t want to miss that experience and I was given a place at the Conservatori Superior de Música del Liceu in Barcelona.

I loved the sense of activity in Barcelona so I always found things to do. People were really kind to me, I always had help when I needed it but that experience living independently away from Wales helped me understand and realise my independence. 

I love trying new foods and flavours. In Spain, the fruit and veg are fresher. Sometimes in Barcelona I could even smell which fruit or vegetable it was through the packaging! They have Catalan food there as well as Spanish food that we are familiar with. I like tapas for the textural variety and different tastes. I love the crunchy croquettes with soft, flavoured sauce in the middle, and the patatas bravas with strong garlicky aioli. I also really like a Catalan delicacy of pasta noodles with seafood and fish. The noodles are often thick, big on flavour and very stringy with soft egg yolk. 

I had masterclasses at Academia Marshall, founded by Enrique Granados in 1901, a famous pianist, composer and pedagogue throughout Spain. I had the chance to perform on a grand piano that was once owned by Federico Mompou who was another musician from Barcelona and had a connection with the great composers of Spain. The piano was later owned by the pianist Alícia de Larrocha, who my teacher Alba Ventura studied with when she was young.

After our walk, I return to my Förster piano. To start each weekend I record a piece to share on my social media. I call it Förster Friday Fun. It is a place where I can discover and develop, for pleasure and to share this with others outside of my work commitments, which take me around the UK and internationally too. 

Recently I have been using braille scores to develop my independence. Learning by ear has its downsides as it is based on copying, whereas braille music allows me to play with my individual musical voice. Access to braille scores also means I can learn at my own pace. Louis Braille was a pianist himself. I was first taught braille music by a tutor who learned it himself just to teach me so I could read scores for my exams. While braille music doesn't give the luxury of reading and playing in the same way sighted people can (I can only do that with a piece that's written say for left hand alone or if one hand is not as involved as the other) it give me the added layer of tactile representation, so I am no longer approximating any notes or dynamics, which is often the case when learning by ear. I still have to memorise using braille but it just allows me to organise my preparation independently without constraints. Another braille music tutor encouraged me to use braille scores for fun, something that would allow me to play for enjoyment. 

When I am in my practice mode, I am very focused. I don’t want any interruptions. I really enjoy the idea of having a treat at the end of the day. With my parents we have a glass of wine with our meal or a gin and tonic when we are watching television. 

Before I go to sleep, I listen to music. Beethoven is my favourite composer. He began losing his hearing at the age of 28. Hearing aids were in their infancy, so Beethoven was born at the wrong time. There were objects called ‘ear trumpets’, with a horn at the end to amplify the sounds, but they were cumbersome and didn’t really improve his hearing. In 1802 Beethoven wrote a letter to his brothers, called the Heiligenstadt Testament, and he’s basically pouring out his heart. By the time he was 44 he had no hearing at all. Yet, after this time he composed some of his most extraordinary pieces. 

Again and again music provides me with happiness and positivity. Music study should be accessible, sustainable and available for everyone, it’s not an entitlement or a privilege for the rich and fully enabled. Opportunity sparks creativity and self-motivation. My Wales is my world, my sensory fantasy.  

Rachel Starritt is a pianist from south Wales. She studied at the Royal Welsh College of Music and Drama where she received a distinction in piano performance. Emma Balch is a writer and producer working in Wales and Portugal.